What if 4Kids dubbed Matantei Loki RAGNAROK?
by L'Archel-Hotishi
Summary: Loki becomes a magical girl? Yamino's got a new name? Freyr has turned into a walrus? What other horrors await when two members from 4Kids come and tell the MLR cast the news? It's pure crack, let's just say.
1. Two's company, 4Kids is a crowd!

Title: What if 4Kids dubbed Matantei Loki: RAGNAROK?

Pairing: Odin x Loki, Heimdall x Loki ((Humor Only))

Disclaimer: 魔探偵ロキRAGNAROK, is not mine, but this crack is. Please no stealing, okay?

Rating: T

Well, after my Death Note fanfic, I decided to write one more story for MLR before I decide to continue on A N G E L C O O K I E M I X. Don't worry, it'll be up soon everyone!

Again, this story is pure and total crack. ((There will also be a Tactics and Princess Princess version as well.))

--START--

Yamino was out in the front of Enjaku, sweeping away at the golden and red leaves. Fall was a pleasant time of year for everyone at the agency. People must have thought it was getting too cold to try to assassinate Loki, so they simply sat at home drinking cider. Personally, the serpent didn't mind at all.

When he was about to walk back inside, the bushes rustled. He quickly turned to see a man and woman, the woman having blonde hair and blue eyes and the man having brown hair with hazel eyes. Both wore matching suits, the girl wearing a pencil skirt instead of pants. Under their black jackets were pink satin shirts with rainbow nametags. The mans read, "Mr. Happy Rainbow" and the girl's name was, "Miss Yummy Cupcakes."

Yamino blinked. "Can I help you?"

They glanced at each other and raced to the serpent, showing him their tags. "We're the officials from 4Kids!"

"4Kids?" Yamino cocked his head. "Well…that's nice to know. I'll get back to you later…" Yamino trailed off, slowly turning towards the door. The man stopped him. "What's your name, may I ask?"

Yamino held his broom close, ready to use it as a weapon any second. "Ryuusuke…Yamino?"

Miss Yummy Cupcakes took out a _Hello Kitty_ notebook and scribbled it down neatly, then looked at him and smiled. "Alright then. Now your name is Allen Underhill."

"What?' Yamino asked, now very scared of the strangers around him. "Loki-sama, scary people are here!"

Loki ran to the front of the detective agency, emerald eyes flashing blood red. "Yamino-kun! What—"

He looked to Miss Yummy Cupcakes and Mr. Happy Rainbows. "And who are they?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows looked to his female twin and pointed. "He's Loki, and he's a Norse god!"

"Fudge, that means we can't change his name," she cried pathetically. "How disappointing…"

Loki crossed his arms and stopped his foot. "Who are you?"

"They say they're from 4Kids…" Yamino said meekly, trying to hide himself from the scary duet. Loki blinked. "4Kids? That children's anime dubbing group that screwed up Tokyo Mew Mew and Magical DoReMi?"

They smiled. "That's right," They both said confidently, the woman twirling on her heels and flipping her hair. "My name is Miss Yummy Cupcakes!"

The man touched his cheek seductively and walked over to Loki, smiling sweetly. "And I'm Mr. Happy Rainbows!" He magically put his hand behind his back and pulled out a bouquet of blue, yellow, pink, orange, and purple daisies. "You are quite a lovely young man…"

Loki blushed. "Well…I…"

"May we please change your gender to a female?"

"…" A vein pulsed from Loki's neck and cheek, his cheeks reddening even more.

"You have no right to insult Loki-sama like that!" Yamino snapped, hissing in anger at the duet. They two simply giggled and began to walk away. "Bye Allen Underhill!"

"What the fuck did you just call my son?" Loki asked, stomping his foot again. His hand flew to his hip and he swayed his hips to the side in a girly gesture, like an expecting wife. "I want you to take that back."

Miss Yummy Cupcakes swayed and cooed in delight as she looked back at the ginger haired trickster, hands to both of her cheeks. "Ah…what a cute girl you would make!"

"I'll slit your stomach and eat your blood slicked entrails, bitch," she growled, eyes turning red. "Now leave him alone you **BEEP**!"

Yamino looked at him, perplexed. "What does **BEEP** mean…didn't you mean to say something like **BEEP**?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows smile turned into a smug smirk as he held out a contract. "You see, when Katy signed the contract, you gave us a censorship right."

The blonde woman shook her finger in their faces, waving it in a windshield wiper motion. "There will be no cussing in front of our audiences, Low key!"

A pause.

"MY NAME IS LOKI, NOT LOW KEY!!" He screamed, snatching the contract from the woman and holding it in front of his face, eyes scanning the page. "And who is this Katy that signed for us?" he asked. On a dotted line at the bottom of the page, in neat katakana, was the name _Katy Gates._

"Katy Gates?" Loki exclaimed in wonder, curiosity reaching its peak. He could only imagine who this woman was. Was it one of his friends who had already had their name changed…? Or was it some other girl from 4Kids or ADV Films that signed? "Who is she," Yamino asked the man. "Please tell us. We would like to discuss this with them."

Daidouji Mayura walked in, whistling and her wavy pink hair rolled over the air as she bounced and bounced towards the group.

"Hi Low key! Any, like, radical cases for us to solve?"

_Radical?_

"_Mayuuuura,"_ he said, his tone of voice showing a sheer layer of annoyance. He motioned with his hand for the girl to come over and look at the paper he held in his hands. She obeyed, and he pointed to the line. "Would **you **happen to be Katy Gates?" She smiled at the question and quickly posed, a sparkly blue backdrop placed behind her. "Yes I am Low Key, your awesome assistant!"

Yamino began to sulk. "Oh dear…"

Loki, out of rage, began to summon his magic wand and place his _Vellamonche_ spell on the duet. They both smiled perfect, pink lip-gloss smiles. Loki was hesitant, seeing as how cocky they were, but continued the summoning. "Now, come to me—"

In an orange poof of smoke, a pink scepter appeared in his hands. Instead of a moon at the top, a pink heart with a star-shaped hole in the center and rainbow flashing lights around the star was the crowning piece of the long rod, two cute wings branching out from either side of the heart. The rod had silver stripes down long stick part and had a tiny silver ring border around the end piece of the scepter. Loki stood appalled and threw the heart scepter down on the ground. "What the **BEEP **is going on?"

"Well, are you going to cast your spell or what? We're waiting for your attack. Or, would you just let 4Kids dub your show without this huge fight scene. Make sure you don't make it bloody either, or our poor editors will have to take the time to edit that out…" the hazel-eyed man muttered, hoping that provoking Loki would unleash a very amusing performance. Very amusing.

"Well? Just say _Dazzling Love Hyper _and the wand will activate."

Mayura raised her hand. "What is a _Dazzling Love Hyper_?"

"You just want him to say that because you know something bad will happen as soon as he does! Well, Loki-sama won't fall for it, will you?" Yamino asked, turning to his loyal father. Loki nodded. "Yeah, I won't say it! I'm not that dumb you two."

Mr. Happy Rainbows and Miss Yummy Cupcakes looked at each other, the blonde female turning to him. "I'm afraid that won't do Low key," she sneered as she removed a remote from her pocket. "But we plan ahead when characters don't cooperate." She pressed a single star-shaped button and began to watch. Mayura blinked and looked over to see Loki completely enveloped by rainbow bubbles. "What the—LOKI!"

_**DAZZLING LOVE HYPER!**_

A flash blinded everyone in the group around the trickster.

After a thirty-second transformation, a girl with ginger pigtails and green eyes the size of dinner plates took shape. Two calico cat ears popped from Loki's head, then a frilly maid's outfit (main dress black, frills pink) custom-fitted itself to Loki's figure magically. Pink tights and black heels also joined the outfit when finally, a huge, fluffy cat tail swished back and forth around the dress. Yamino and Mayura watched, eyes glowing in horror and astonishment. The 4Kids duet simply looked at each other, extremely satisfied.

"WHAT THE **BEEP **HAVE YOU DONE TO ME YOU **BEEP BEEP!**

The trickster had long hair, boobs, a dress on, and a girly voice.

He was totally one-hundred-percent female.

"You really switched my gender! I'll kill you!" Loki wailed, pointing his wand at them. "As soon as I cast a spell, you'll be dead!"

Mayura looked at Magical Girl Low key and put some hair behind her ear. "I don't think they'll tell you…"

"I know that, idiot! I can still smack them and you hard with this piece of crap!"

Miss Yummy Cupcakes looked at her nails critically and rolled her eyes. "When will they ever learn the power of friendship," she asked, Mr. Happy Rainbows shrugging and taking out a magazine to read and letting Yamino and Mayura spazz.

However, more trouble was to come. Heimdall and Freyr were just down the road, walking right towards Enjaku.

--END--

R&R please?


	2. French Freyr and the Honey Badger

Title: What if 4Kids dubbed Matantei Loki: RAGNAROK?

Pairing: Heimu x Loki ((Humor / Fluff))

Disclaimer: What do you, as a smart person, think? What do I say every fucking chapter? XD

Rating: T (Some sexual references)

Okay, new account on LiveJournal. It's called _fluffy lemon _(underscore between _fluffy_ and _lemon_). I post a lot of random stuff like this there now, so check it out. Also if you want to see my badass sunburn, pictures of me, or the Death Note doujinshi game screenshots I downloaded, then go there. ((I've got near x Mello….XD))

Also, Selina(Mak)-chan's my friend, so you can easily see her.

Happy reading!! ((I also don't really like this chapter.))

--START--

Freyr, riding his piggy contraption, carried three boxes of peaches, smiling his happy-go-lucky smile. "Heimdall, we got so many peaches that we probably can't eat them all!"

"THEN WHY THE HELL DID WE BUY THEM!" The watchman screamed, trying to avoid the wood packaging and it's sharp splinters from puncturing his face. "You shouldn't be wasting money like that!"

"Why does Heimdall care so much?"

"Because I don't want to be poor like that thunder god!"

He turned away, violet hair blowing in a strong gust of wind. He sighed and slowed his walking pace, finally stopping to stare at the strange group in front of Enjaku. There was a man and woman, both looking like office officials. Yamino and that annoying pink-haired wannabe were there as well. There was only one person Heimdall didn't recognize. A girl with a long scepter, green eyes, and brown haired pigtails wearing a frilly maid's dress. It appeared she was also a cat girl. Heimdall sweat dropped.

"Who is that?"

"Who?" the fertility god asked.

"That girl, with the wand."

Freyr looked to the girl version of Loki and instantly blushed three shades of red. "…Ya-Ya-Ya…."

"What," Heimdall asked, turning to his friend with a aggravated frown on his face. "Is something wrong with that girl?"

"YAMATO NADESHIKO #2!" Freyr roared in delight as he flew of his pig and over to the young girl pointing her wand about to turn Enjaku into a scene of a massacre. She turned, eyes flashing red in surprise. "Wait, Freyr no!"

They crashed into each other, lips locking reluctantly between Loki and Freyr, Loki the only one trying to pull away from the kiss. Three seconds later, he fainted.

"LOKI-SAMA!" Yamino cried in horror, a distressed chibi teenager sinking to the floor on his knees. The poor serpent's tears poured like waterfalls, all the while Mayura just reeled away in disgust. "Kai-Kaitou-san? I didn't know you were gay!" Freyr blinked and looked to a confused watchman, who only shrugged in turn.

"**Wait a moment."**

"**Loki-sama?"**

"**Gay?"**

"**Don't tell me…"**

The red-eyed god felt like an iron ball sank into his stomach. His pale skin turned a ghostly white, his cheeks red with fury. "You didn't…"

"I KISSED LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKI!" The Earth shook a little bit, Canada at the same time experiencing a small earthquake. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and spat as many germs as he could. He almost resorted to swallowing sanitizer. The 4kids duet, when they finished laughing, walked over to the fertility god. Miss Happy rainbows took out her notebook and coaxed the young man's shoulder with her soft fingers. "Now, now Frey Glassnier, you must calm yourself…"

He sniffled and turned towards Miss Happy Rainbows. "What? Who's Frey Glassnier? And who are you?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows took the notebook and wrote more notes next to Freyr's name, thinking up more and more ideas with each scribble and scratch on the paper. "Since we gave you a French name, you need a cool French accent!"

"What! Qui a—que? (_Who are—what?_)"

Miss Happy Rainbows giggled and twirled around on her heel again, singing in an almost mocking tone, "We can use him for the educational part of the program! He can teach the children French! Isn't it great, Mr. Happy Rainbows?"

"Hm…I don't think we have the right amount of money to rewrite the whole show…" He crossed his arms sadly and looked at the fertility god. "Well," he whispered, lifting up Freyr's chin. "We can work something out for the better. I'd much like to hear your normal voice…"

"Heimdall, aide! Aide Heimdall!" (_Heimdall, help! Help Heimdall!_)

Heimdall growled, grimacing to the point his fangs were manifest and threatening. "One, I can't understand a **BEEP** thing you're saying, and two, you kissed that son of a **BEEP**—and why the **BEEP** are all the cuss words I say blurred out!"

The duet looked at each other and took deep breaths, not feeling the urge to explain everything that had recently happened over again to such a loud, obnoxious boy. "We're both from 4Kids, and since Katy Gates, formerly known as Daidouji Mayura signed a contract, we have all rights to your names, powers, genders, and content."

"Besides, Keith Greenwood, it's always nice for friends to help each other…" Mr. Happy Rainbows replied, eyes slitting evilly in Heimdall's direction.

"Keith…Greenwood?" the violet haired boy blinked and snatched the notebook away, looking at the pages in astonishment. "But," he turned and glared at Mayura. "Why the heck would you do that?"

"I have a reason!" She shouted, defending herself.

"What?"

She suddenly smiled an engaging grin and hugged herself, cherry blossom flower petals fluttering in the wind, the petals matching the pink in her hair. "I was told that…"

Although she smiled, a glittering tear fell from her plump eyelashes, sparkling like a supernova as it fell to the rich soil (The sidewalk she was standing on had vanished for the moment.)

"They would…"

Everyone waited, except Loki who was still frozen on the ground.

"Give me my very own Liopleurodon!"

Heimdall gawked at the idiot in front of him and slowly shook his head. "You must be retarded…you have to be…"

"Er…what's a Liopleurodon?"

"You don't even know what it is!" Heimdall snapped, the urge to gouge out her eyes growing with every second. "Isn't it like a puppy?"

"It's a freaking marine dinosaur that died out one-hundred and fifty-five million years ago! You sold our pride as an anime to 4Kids for a **BEEP**ing dinosaur!"

Freyr grabbed Heimdall's cheeks and stretched them apart until they turned white. "Heimdall est mechant! (_Heimdall is mean_!)

"I can't understand you, you bleeding **BEEP**!"

Mr. Happy Rainbows hummed and finally erased Freyr's French accent from their notes, looking at his twin in distress. "I can't understand him either! Let's just give up, okay?"

"Fine, we will drop that detail!"

Loki finally woke up, wincing in pain as he rose up from the concrete he had been laying on for nearly thirty minutes. "Owwie…."

Yamino ran over to his master and helped him stand up, placing a hand on the young lady's back to reassure he wouldn't collapse again. "Are you hurt badly Loki-sama?"

"No," he hissed. "But Freyr will be soon!" He marched over to Freyr and slapped him across the face with his girly, bony hand. "Idiot!"

"That hurt Yamato Nadeshiko #2!"

Loki blushed again, holding his wand out in front of him. "No way, do you still have a crush on me?"

"Yep! Freyr loves Yamato Nadeshiko #2, even if you are a lesbian and love my sister and made babies with Angerboda."

Loki slapped his again with the scepter, a twisted smirk across his face. "You know, if you really do love me, I can easily show you some fun sweetie…."

Freyr tilted his head and lowered his body so he was eye-level with his beauty. "What kind of fun, honey? Anything you like, I'll obey as long as Freyr can make Yamato Nadeshiko #2 happy! What do you want? Movies? Candy? A dress? Perhaps a hug?"

He gasped.

"A kiss?"

Loki laughed and grabbed Freyr's chocolate colored hair, keeping him at eye-level so they could continue their conversation. "I want some S&M goodness after I cover you with strawberry flavored lubricant and have some hot oral sex with you."

"**KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!**" Freyr ran off, leaving his pig to follow in his tracks. But that would be impossible on the account he ran so fast, not even the robotic boar could keep up until they were miles away from Enjaku. Loki broke out into a maniacal laugh and turned towards the 4Kids duet. "What now? Your new friend is gone!"

"Yes," Miss Yummy Cupcakes agreed sadly, but perked up just as fast as her mood faded into a crater of sadness. "But Keith Greenwood is still here!"

"Keith Green….wood?"

Loki 'eh'ed and turned to Heimdall, face turning every shade of red and pink. Heimdall only stood, smiling at Loki's embarrassment. "What's wrong, Loki-chan? Don't let me interrupt your relationship with Freyr. I thought you two were quite adorable together!"

Loki's heart thumped against his rub cage loudly, so loudly he thought that his nemesis would hear it and taunt him. "I didn't mean it you fool! Do you think I even wanted to kiss him in the first place?"

"You seemed so serious…"

"In your dreams!"

"I'm not that perverted, Low key."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!!"

Heimdall only laughed and put his hands on his waist. "It sound slike you're normal name, so why are you so torn up about it?"

"Because…" Loki stopped, trying to think of a scarring retort he could use. Nothing came to mind. So, he began to cry.

"Meanie butt! Meanie, meanie, meanie butt! I hate you Heimdall! How dare you, a gentleman, make a lady like me cry!"

Yamino and Mayura looked at Heimdall in alarm, Yamino very angered by his actions. "How dare you make Loki-sama cry like this!"

"Big deal, it's not as if I should care or anything!" He turned his head away, very proud that he made the cunning trickster god sob like a girl. Well, he guessed it was more of a literal situation, still he had reason to be proud. He decided to taunt the poor transvestite more and more. So he reached out a hand and cupped Loki's left boob.

Miss Yummy Cupcakes blushed and swayed like a fangirl from side to side. "Now, that's very touching (hah, it's a pun, get it?), but try to keep the romance at a minimum."

Mr. Happy Rainbows added on to her comment with, "And molesting children is never a good thing!"

Heimdall ignored the molesting comment and made a quiet remark. A mean and dirty quiet remark. "Even though you only eight, you feel like a 36 B."

SMACK.

"That's not true! You're trying to make me look bad!"

"I can't even imagine your Kakusei! form. What are you, like a D cup?"

"Stow it, **BEEP**-hole!"

Heimdall laughed and observed the girl again. This was a pretty cute Loki. He was cute as a boy too, but even Heimdall couldn't be shy around Loki. They had known each other since they were little, so it was just a reflex to make fun of him. He liked Loki, but now his feeling were taking a slight turn when he realized how pissed he was.

He blushed and looked at him in the eyes. They weren't changing color at all. "Low key…did you like that?"

Loki became extremely flustered and looked at the ground, shaking his head back and forth furiously. "Well…no, but…"

Yamino blinked and looked between the two, then sweat dropped and looked at the 4Kids duet. "What did you do to them?"

They looked at each other, then back to the serpent, both oblivious. "Nothing."

Heimdall stared at his female nemesis a little longer, cheeks the color of his eyes. _"Loki…he's actually kinda hot in this form. Not like I didn't think he was before…but…"_

He chuckled to himself.

"_I guess I'll always love Loki no matter what."_

Loki gasped and walked towards Heimdall. "Hey, what are you laughing at?" Heimdall chuckled again and looked in his friend's eyes. "Your face."

"WHAT!"

"_But that's my secret to keep…just a little longer. I'll make sure to tell you someday."_

"You're such a **BEEP **Keith! **BEEP **you!"

Heimdall sparked Loki and grabbed his pigtail, pulling it. "That's not very nice…"

"Let me go—ow!"

Mr. Happy Rainbows broke up the fight and made sure to calm each child down before speaking again. "Now that that's all well and done, let us move on with the plot!" Heimdall glared at the man and snapped fingers, calling one of his hawks to his side. "You know, I'm getting really tired of hearing you voice."

Miss Yummy Cupcakes only laughed.

"I'll end your life!"

A Honey Badger fell from the sky and into Heimdall's arms, sniggling into his warm chest. "…a Honey Badger?"

"Hello, my name is Cuddle-licious. You smell like sunshine…"

"…I'm going to kill 4Kids even if it cost me my life…"

Loki looked at the Honey Badger and began to pet it. "Aw, so cute…"

Cuddle-licious purred and rubbed against Loki's breast, Loki smiling again. "Are you going to keep it Heimdall?"

"What is the point of giving me this stupid rat!" Heimdall snapped, tossing the animal to Loki. "I'll probably end up eating it by the end of today because Freyr ran off with our money thanks to a CERTAIN someone…"

Loki shrank back.

Miss Yummy Cupcakes almost struck back with a reply, but then a huge ringing sound went off. She took out her phone and pouted, stuffing it back in her suit pocket seconds later. She and Mr. Happy Rainbows put their matching shades back on. "I'm afraid thirty minutes is up! Time for the ending theme!"

"Wait," Yamino shouted, hesitant to ask a question he knew he didn't want the answer too. "You didn't…change that did you?"

The blonde female walked over to Yamino and patted him on the head gingerly. "Don't worry, we did! Your new opening is _I Do, I Do, I Do _by _Creamy_, and your new ending is _Teardrops on my Guitar _by _Taylor Swift_."

Yamino cringed. "…thanks a lot…"

Suddenly, a flash of blue filled the area and Freyr stood under the shining sun, a sour expression on his face. Heimdall was relieved nonetheless. "You still have out money, right?"

Freyr looked at him, face so frightening a 2nd grader would cry. "Auuuuuugh….auuugh…."

"Pardon?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows clapped his hands together, showing his joy. "Yay, it worked!"

"What?" Mayura asked. "Did you make it so Kaitou-san couldn't talk?" Magical Girl Low Key decided it was a good time to be Captain Obvious.

"He sounds like a walrus…"

"Bingo!" The 4Kids duet remarked, confetti flying everywhere as they spoke. "We decided that he was a comic relief character, so we made him a walrus."

"Auuughhhh….augh!"

Heimdall and Loki were speechless. They had nothing more to say. They were completely drained from these two being there and screwing up their lives. "Where's our white flag?"

"I give. Kill me now…"

"I'll shoot you if you if you stab me at the same time…"

"Deal."

((Enter ending credits))

--END--

Finish time: 2:41 a.m.

This is not the last chapter, and I'm sorry if this chapter was bad. I mean, I'm REALLY sorry. I got a lot in though, and I promise the next chapter will be great!

Hugs and Hershey Kisses L'Archel ((Damn, I sound like fucking 4Kids….))


	3. I won't say I'm in love!

Title: What if 4Kids dubbed Matantei Loki: RAGNAROK?

Rating: T

Pairing: Er…XD;

Disclaimer: Don't I type the same damn thing every single chapter?

Okay…I'm in a mood where I really want to finish this and upload Sukisho, so, this'll be the last chapter!! WEEEE!!

--START--

Loki awoke with a start in his bed, cold sweat on his face. "Was that a dream?" He asked himself, hand held over his thumping heart. He paused and felt his chest again. It felt…slightly bigger than before.

In horror, he ran the vanity and stared at his face in shock, blue eyes becoming the size of dinner plates. "How did I transform into my Kakusei! form," the woman roared, long blonde hair flowing freely through the hair. Miss Yummy Cupcakes ran inside, hand held to her forehead in salutations. "Hello, Low Key!"

"What the **BEEP**? Why am I in this form while I'm a female? Did you do this?"

"Yep," she said, handing Loki a long, sapphire colored dress. "And here's your dress."

"Dress?"

"Yes! Enjaku Detective Agency has now been transformed into Enjaku Modeling Shoppe, and you're the boss!"

"_**MODELING SHOPPE?"**_

She grabbed Loki by the wrist and pulled the blonde trickster into the bathroom. "You're a size D now, so I got you a new bra, and since your skin is so pale, cool colors will better sink into your natural complexion. Sapphire dresses, especially this one with some sheen to it, are perfect for people with blonde hair. Also, take note that the red shoes I got you also can become a neutral when paired with this nice blue! Are you getting all this?"

Loki was drawing pictures on the mirror with a tube of peach lipstick. "What?"

Instead of yelling at the trickster, she simply shouted in delight, "Oh! How lovely! When you do cool colors like purple and a smoky eye, a less overwhelming lip color is essential! Nice job!"

Loki blinked. "What?"

-- -

Reiya looked up at Enjaku, velvet purple eyes filled with a perplexed feeling. "What's this?"

Yamino sighed, still sweeping out front. "I'm terribly sorry for the sudden…renovations Reiya-san…"

"It's a little much, right?" What the girl was looking at was a silver, boxy office building with many crystal windows, flowers in the garden out front with vines that climbed the whole building, a fountain out front that spurted clean water, and the gates out front reading _Enjaku Modeling Shoppe_. She blinked. "Now you guys model?"

"Sadly we've been reduced to this. Architecture really declines over the ages as humans become more and more efficient at ruining the planet. Materials made back in the Victorian age could last forever, now ice makers in ice cream trucks jam twice a day."

Reiya nodded. Honestly, all those complicated opinions that came out of Yamino's mouth confused her, but she decided to humor him and agree. "Where is Loki-sama?"

Yamino cringed, hair spiking like a scared cat's for a second. An imaginary cat ear also twitched in annoyance. "Er…he's gone out."

"Really. Someone asked me if I knew where he was, and I escorted him here. He's really nice…"

"Who?"

Odin strolled up to Enjaku wearing, not his cloak, but a white tee-shirt that had glittery roses on it, skinny dark wash jeans, a chain belt, and black leather boots that rode up to his knees. His silver hair was up in gold elastic, flowing freely from a ponytail. He wore loud, studded bangles on his left arm. He was clearly angered, a vein pulshing from his cheek.

"Have you seen two people, a blonde woman and brunette man? They're kinda stupid, wear pink satin shirts and rainbow nametags…_Allen Underhill_."

Yamino shrank back against the wall and opened the gates. "The woman's inside. I don't know where the man's gone to…"

"Thanks very much…" He said emotionless and stomped inside, pout turning into a scowl as he got closer and closer to the building. Suddenly, when Odin was gone, Mr. Happy Rainbows, in his cameo jumpsuit, evacuated the bushed where he was hidden from the PMSing All-Father and ran to Reiya, mystified by the cute face in front of him. "How sweet! You're name shall be Millie Esther!"

"Excuse me?" The scared girl asked, backing away from the man, her inner self beginning to shine through. Her hair turned a little blonde at that moment in time. "Er…Yamino-san,"

"His name is Allen Underhill, Millie!"

She looked at Yamino, hair becoming longer and longer. Her voice shook with the sudden growth and in nervousness at the situation. "Reiya-san, it won't make much sense if you hear it again…"

"Don't worry little Millie. If I was a bad man, I'd ask you to be my organ donor or something."

Reiya, being Reiya, obviously freaked out.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" And in a flash, she turned into a beautiful maiden. The Goddess of love, fertility, and beauty stood before them, her Brinsing necklace glittering like a lit comet in the night sky. Vana Freya.

"My name isn't Millie, it's Freya!"

Yamino signaled for her to hush, but she continued. "You stupid moron! Move aside so I can see my fair Loki!"

It was right on cue Loki ran out in his sapphire wrap dress, red high-heels, curled blonde hair, elegant make-up, and huge boobs. (What sucked most was they were bigger than Freya's…)

"Let go!" Loki yelled, yanking his wrist away from Miss Yummy Cupcakes who was reaching out to the trickster for support when Odin started slicing her with Gram, sword of the Volsungs. Mr. Happy rainbows shrieked, covering Freya's eyes. "Beautiful women like you shouldn't look at such tools of violence!"

"Back off you **BEEP**, and let me—" she covered her mouth. "When did I make a beep noise…and who is she?" Freya asked, looking at Loki in anger, but also in awe. "You're so pretty you almost outdo me!"

Mayura walked out of the modeling agency listened to the argument. She believed telling Freya the truth was going to solve the problem. No wonder Mayura never found out Loki was a god.

"Oh—that's Low key! He's—I mean she's the new model."

Freya walked over and examined her, eyes turning wide with fear as if she was watching a macabre film. "Loki..? Is that…you?"

Loki died a little inside. _**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…**_

"I didn't know you were a drag queen, Loki!"

Yamino and Odin could only laugh. "That's just great Freya…"

Freya turned to Odin, leaving Loki to wallow in his gender misery. "Oh-Odin! I like your pretty outfit!"

"Do you?"

"Is that the outfit you began wearing to the human world?"

"No." He groaned, pointing to the 4Kids duet. "I was on Midgard to get some sweets, but I was herded like a sheep into their studio, forced into these clothes, and told to work here."

"You look cute."

"Thanks."

"But…what's that in your hand?"

He cocked his head, laughing at the blonde goddess funny. "It's the sword of the Volsngs, Freya…don't you know?"

"No it's not…that's called a card deck Odin-sama." She said, pointing to the deck of cards in his hand. He looked at them briefly, recognizing the black circle on the back. They were Yuugiou cards.

"What that **BEEP **are these doing in my hand?"

"See! Odin makes beeping noises too!"

"Oh, shut up Freya!"

"What's going on here?" Heimdall asked, watching the two quarrel. "Where's Loki? I sensed a huge boom of jaki…"

Odin pointed, not paying attention to Heimu. "Over there, Heimu….the blonde girl.."

Heimdall turned white, then blue, the scarlet when he saw his lover crying in the body of an eighteen-year-old woman. "Heimu…"

The 4Kids duet broke out with microphones and began to shout. "This love scene needs some dramatic music!"

_Song: I Won't Say I'm in Love_

_Artist: Hercules (Disney)_

_Loki- If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!_

_Yamino / Freya / Odin- Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
He's the Earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Honey, we can see right through you  
Girl, ya can't conceal it  
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of_

_Heimdall- No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no_

_Yamino / Freya / Odin- You swoon, you sigh  
why deny it, uh-oh_

Loki- It's too cliché  
I won't say I'm in love

Heimdall- I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when you start out  
My head is screaming get a grip, girl  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
Oh

Yamino / Freya / Odin- You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Baby, we're not buying  
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
Face it like a grown-up  
When ya gonna own up  
That ya got, got, got it bad

Loki- No chance, now way  
I won't say it, no, no

Yamino / Freya / Odin- Give up, give in  
Check the grin you're in love

Heimdall- This scene won't play,  
I won't say I'm in love

Yamino / Freya/ Odin- You're doin flips read our lips  
You're in love

Loki- You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Get off my case  
I won't say it

Yamino / Freya / Odin- Girl, don't be proud  
It's O.K. you're in love

Loki / Heimdall- Oh  
At least out loud,  
I won't say I'm in love

((No 4Kids staff were harmed in the aftermath of the song when Loki found a gun in the closet. Remember, abuse is NEVER okay. Report every claim to the police.))

--END--

I lied. Next chappie will be the last, okay? BAI BAI!! ((Odin x Loki x Heimdall will come next time in the duel for their lives. The Yuugiou duel that decides the fate of the cosmos!))

BE THERE!!


	4. Yuugiou Duel of the Cosmos!

**FINAL CHAPTER!! **((I hope….))

Heimdall's gonna be seme!!

--START--

Once the bullets ran out and the 4Kids staff managed to dodge every single one, the gun was laid to rest and Loki sank to the floor. "**BEEP**…"

Heimdall shook the shotgun again, eventually opening up the cartridge and looking inside. "Are you sure you ran out of bullets?"

"Positive. I'm sorry…"

"It's okay…" Heimdall waved and started home. "I've gotta go. I need to do some shopping with Freyr, but I'll come back!"

Loki blushed. "Yeah…"

The 4Kids staff peeked out from their hiding places and walked over to Loki . (Poor Yamino was still hiding in the closet with Mayura, both sobbing like children.) Odin held the Yuugiou deck still, Freya shifting through the cards. "These look pretty dorky…"

"It's shounen manga for boys, of course it's got to be a little dorky. Monsters like the Harpies are ALMOST shirtless. It's a little mature, but _4KIDS _edited it on Fox."

"Are you serious Odin-sama?"

"Yeah…so why do I have this again?" He asked as he sweat-dropped and looked eyes Miss Yummy Cupcakes. She looked back at him and winked, her blonde curls bouncing. "That's for the final battle!"

"Final battle?" everyone asked, even Mayura and Yamino who had come out from the closet.

Mr. Happy Rainbows nodded and snapped his fingers. "Yes."

Before they knew it, two stands appeared at either end on Enjaku Modeling Shoppe's front lawn. It was a huge checkered field with two mechanical stands, two card decks appearing on the stands. Loki watched, perplexed. "What is this?"

"The Yuugiou duel of the cosmos! If you loose, you keep the license of 4Kids!"

Everyone gasped.

"But if you win, then you will keep ADV's license."

Neither sounded great, but ADV was way better than 4Kids. "Fine," Yamino said, looking up at his father. "Do you know how to play Yuugiou Loki-sama?"

Loki thought a moment, and then nodded. "Sadly. I was on T.V. once and it was the duel between Jono-chan and Yuugi-chan. The one who lost was dropped into the ocean. If they refused to play, the Anzu would have a weight dropped on her and she would be crushed. Yuugi sacrificed himself and fell into the ocean. Jono-chan went after him and saved him the Kaiba Corp sent a helicopter to lift the weight from Anzu…or something like that…I think. 4Kids dubbed it…so I remember the Japanese version being way better than the English dub…"

"I remember those episodes!!" Mayura squealed happily, Freya turning to her in anger. "This is no time to recall those memories!!"

Odin sighed. "So, why are we here if Loki has to play?" The 4kids duet looked at each other and smiled playfully. "It's a s-e-c-r-e-t." Without warning, both Life Point stands blinked the number _5000._

"Only five-thousand LP?"

"That's right, as you know, if they reach zero, you lose."

Loki's eyes flashed red in anger as he drew his five cards. "Fine, draw your cards!" Miss Yummy Cupcakes drew first, placing one card down in attack mode. "I place _Lady_ _Assailant of the Flames_ in Attack Mode."

ATK / 1500

DEF / 1000

Miss Yummy Cupcakes smiled again. "And as you know, if I get rid of three cards from my deck, I can take away 800 of your LP right now!" The Lady ran to Loki and slashed one strap of her sapphire dress, LP going down to 4200.

"Oh, **BEEP**," Loki cussed as the LP drained more and more. Mayura was stunned. "The first move and they already damaged Low Key!!"

"They dubbed over four-hundred episodes of this," Freya explained, worry clouding her brilliant purple eyes. "Of course they got good at it…"

Yamino was still quizzical, but more frightened than anything else. "And they still have a surprise for us…"

It was Loki's turn to call upon a monster, and he knew if he didn't draw a monster with more than 1500 ATK Points, he would have to cast a Spellcaster, or take another blow. "Fine," He shouted across the field, blonde hair blowing in a dramatic gust of wind. "I think…"

He smiled almost instantly.

"I play _Bickuribox _in Attack Mode!!

ATK / 2300

DEF / 2000

"Alright, he drew a card to defeat 4Kids!!" Odin cheered, jumping up in joy. "Way to go!!" As the card appeared on the field, a man with brown hair appeared in a Jack-in-the-Box in a medieval-looking cloak and gloves. "Hey wait…"

It's blue eyes looked back at them.

"Oni-sama!!" Freya shouted in confusion. Yamino looked at the fertility god, finally coming to a conclusion. "Could it be that every time Loki-sama plays a card, one of us becomes the monser he plays?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows, still in distress from the card Loki drew, nodded. "And if that monster is killed, your friend will not come back from the graveyard unless you win…"

"WHAT?" Freyr shouted, looking back at Loki. "You better not make me die!!"

"Shut up or we'll turn you into a walrus again!" Miss Yummy Cupcakes screamed, pointing a finger to the fertility god. Needless to say, he was quiet.

The blonde model muttered something to Freyr, confident they could make a good move. "Attack their monster to send it right to the Graveyard!"

Freyr blinked.

"Are we playing interactive Yuugiou?"

"Just do it!!"

Freyr attacked the woman, she screamed, and vanished into a digital dust. 4Kids's LP dropped 1500, leaving them at 3500. Everyone, especially Freya, cheered. "Yay, I knew you could do it Loki!!" Yamino smiled and pushed on his glasses. Ecchan, or Esteban according to 4Kids, meowed and landed on Odin's head, arms raised in a cute cheer. Loki blushed and laughed. "Ah, you flatter me…"

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" Freyr screamed again, fuming at the fact Loki always got more attention, even from his sister. Angered by their sudden bad lick streak, they drew another card in hopes of getting revenge. They laughed and placed it down, a maiden in a long blue dress with long blonde hair materialized, a blue ball of light encased in her hands. Loki blinked. "Is that _Gift of the Mystical Elf_?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows nodded and smiled. "This trap Card increases our LP by 300 for every monster on the field." Their LP increased to 3800, still lower than Loki's, but the best card they had. Loki was glad he only placed on card on the field. "Freyr, I'm putting you in Defense Mode."

"Yeah." Freyr said, retreating into his box as Loki cast another card. I play the card _Dark Magician _in Attack Mode."

Yamino had vanished from the sidelines and was now dressed as the Dark Magician, red and purple outfit with long, glowing green scepter shining as he levitated a little above the field. Loki cussed under his breath. "Yamino-kun…"

The 4Kids couple laughed again, almost falling over and hitting their heads. "I bet you can't stand to see your son die!" Loki smiled and nodded, arms placed on his feminine hips as he ran a fine hand through his blonde hair in an almost cocky manner that just nearly walked the line. "Well, since you don't have any monsters on the field, I can directly attack you Life Points!"

ATK / 2500

DEF / 2100

Yamino exhaled a held breath. He raised his scepter and attacked them directly with his dark magic. They both held on to each other and screamed as a purple light flashed around them. When the shock was over, the LP stand blinked the number 1000.

"Alright!" Freya cheered bounced up and down, Odin clapping for the fertility god and Ecchan bouncing up and down on the All-father's head. The blue in the sky began to shine through the puffy clouds, a signal that this would all be over soon. Loki looked back at the crowd and smiled back to them. When he did, however, he was meant with an unusual sight. Spica was standing right behind Mayura, blushing at the fact her husband was looking at her. She appeared to know about 4Kids because she didn't as much giggle when she saw Loki's female form.

"Loki-sama…good luck."

She only turned, maid dress swaying, and began to walk away. "Where are you going Shia?"

She twitched and began to run away. The duet placed another card monster card down. The Earth shook violently, everyone toppling to the ground. "What's happening?" Yamino cried.

"Low Key!" Mayura screamed, covering her head with her hands to protect whatever brains she had. "What card did they play?"

Loki looked up to see a silver dragon with huge blue eyes and a long neck. The silver, metal looking scales gave the dragon a mecha look as is roared and grabbed Spica almost instantly. "Spica!" Loki cried, watching the dragon crush his wife as she screamed in agony, completely helpless.

"That's _Blue-Eyes White Dragon _that has an ATK amount of 3000." It crushed Spica and made the goddess vanish into a mist. Yamino gasped, "Spica?"

Loki was paralyzed. His legs wobbled as the dragon attacked Yamino, raising his scepter in defense. Alas, it was all in vain. The dragon crushed Yamino and his mother, both cards sitting in Loki's Graveyard. He paused and put his hand over the deck, eyes welling up with salty tears. Freyr looked back. "Loki, cast a spell card! Pretty soon more of your LP will be taken away."

Loki's LP with the cost of his family, decreased to a mere number of 1200. "He only has 200 more LP than 4Kids does!" The pink haired student squeaked in despair. Freya let loose a sob for her friends. "Loki…"

Odin looked to the paved sidewalk, then to his friends, smiling. "Don't worry! If anyone can put a trick last minute, it's Laufiyarson Loki!"

"…" Mayura looked to Loki, trying to think. She had an idea and ran up to Loki's stand. "Low Key!" She cried, struggling to climb the steep mechanical device without hurting or possibly killing herself in the process. "Mayura!"

"Stay down Katy, that's cheating to help!" The dragon snatched Mayura and sent her to the Graveyard, Loki's eyes narrowing even more. "Mayura…"

Freya sobbed, hands covering her eyes and her blonde hair toppling over her head like a mop of curls, literally. "Oh no!!"

Odin bit his lip. "**BEEP **Mayura…"

Because Loki's LP was so drained, he had no choice but to revert to his chibi form, all power drained from his body. Odin stared on, trying to convince Loki to battle onwards. "Loki! Don't lose hope!"

Loki's knees remained bent and head bowed in distress, tears pleading to escaped his tightly shut eyes. Loki only heard a small gasp from Odin and Freya before a gloved hand was placed over his and squeezed his hand tenderly. He shook, face turning scarlet. "Heimu…"

The purple haired god drew a card and held it up, smiling, standing next to Loki, and defending his love. "I call upon _Red Archery Girl_ in Attack Mode!"

Freya appeared inside a sparkling clamshell, dressed as a mermaid with her long, golden hair flowing as if she was deeply submerged under the sea. Her bow and arrow were blood red.

ATK / 1400

DEF / 1500

The 4Kids duet laughed, Mr. Happy Rainbows shaking his finger at the boy. "That can't kill our dragon!"

"Who says I finished my move?"

"What?"

Heimdall looked to Odin and smiled, nodding his head. "I also play _Blue-Eyes White Dragon_!"

Another dragon appeared on the field, it scales gleaming just as bright as 4Kids. Heimdall looked at his monsters and saw Odin atop the dragon's back, seated elegantly with his black cloak flowing in the wind. He smirked. "Everyone, go!"

All at once, Freya shot her arrows, Freyr pounced, and Odin seized the last remaining LP of 4Kids. With a final blast, the duo screamed in pain and fell to the ground. A portal appeared next to them, and polka-dotted bunnies dragged them through the portal back to their own twisted world. The arena vanished.

The bodies of Yamino, Mayura, and Spica lay not far from were he sat. Heimdall smiled. "Came too late?"

Loki looked up at him and cocked his head. "I didn't know you could do that…you know, in a duel…have all your monsters attack at once…"

Heimdall made a shush noise and whispered to Loki. "They didn't need to know that…" and smiled again. Loki's tears poured more and more as he raced into Heimdall's arms. "Heimu!"

Expecting a chest to squish up against his, there was nothing. Loki was a male again, and everyone else had their real names and dignity returned to them. Fenrir scampered over to them and licked Loki's face. "Daddy, the agency!"

Loki looked over to see the agency was returned to it's form as a western looking mansion and grinned at Fenrir. "That's right!"

Loki looked to Heimdall and gently kissed him on the lips. "Thanks…" Heimdall nodded and captured Loki's lips again. He gasped into the kiss, but breathed a sense of immense salvation into their tender embrace.

"I love you…thank you so much for coming…"

Odin walked over to the couple and smiled. "Well…since this fiasco is over and you all did such a good job…I have a surprise!!"

Loki looked to Odin who bent down and ruffled his hair. "The wedding is tomorrow…"

Loki became a little shocked. "What wedding?"

The watchman also glanced at the all-Father with a quizzical expression on his face, voice raised in an octave of question, "For who?"

Odin kissed the trickster tenderly. "I'm sorry my love, but you will be getting married to Heimdall tomorrow is Asgard."

There was silence.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!"

"N-no I'm not ready!!"

Heimdall's face matched the color of his eyes.

((Meanwhile, Freyr and Freya hugged each other, tears pouring from their eyes like waterfalls, happy both were alive in the very least. Mayura and Yamino woke up…and Spica just slept a few more minutes.))

--OWARI--

LOL, the wedding is a joke…although maybe it will be a later chappie of ACM…((Ooooohhh….suspense…))

Enjoy!! Fun writing this!! Sorry the chapter went so fast, but I have to finish up a M yuri fanfic before I get flamed for the sin of procrastination. Thanks for reviewing, but this story has reached it's end…I think…maybe more of the 4Kids duo in the future? Maybe in another Sukisho fanfic? Who knows??

BAI BAI!!


End file.
